像老鼠般地活着........

姐.......
你的离开......
让我的生活出现了巨变.......
我的家.....
我的房......
我在家的地位......
我自己.......
都变得乱七八糟了......

最近......
我的国土被外来者侵袭....
虽然只是表面上的移花折木.......
但是它已经不属于单纯的一个我了.....
我的房间.......
被人住了..........

我无话可说......
毕竟他是我哥.....
那个是他的女朋友......
但唯一令我接受不到的是................
他们从不出现"不好意思"的表情......
甚至连对不起又或是谢谢这样的字眼也从不会从他们的口中泄漏出来.......
就算装装也好......
至少让我的心舒服一点......

被赶了出来后......
我到了爸妈的房间......
原本只是想投宿一宵......
没想到.......
早晨醒来.......
自己已被爸爸指责.......
他要我搬去睡客房........
原因是.....
我也不清楚......
我不明白......
为什么......
才过了这么一天一夜.......
我的生活却可以到反/......
原本好好的地方......
原本属于我的东西......
却被一扫而空.......
我不怨恨谁......
我只是.......
想念我亲爱的姐姐......

如果有你在.......
没人敢这样冒犯我了......
虽然以前就知道.....
有你在.......
我有多幸福.....
但是现在......
还是想说一次.....
姐.......因为你!
我是幸福的......!!

今晚该去哪里???
我还没有作决定......
可能也轮不到我去作这个决定.......

现在的我.....
就像是一只老鼠......
四处隐藏......
才愕然发现........
四处为家......
要找一个藏身栖息地.......
绝非易事!!!
今晚.......
让天来帮我作这个决定吧!!!

能不能给我一首歌的时间......??

我姐不在了......
她去了一个遥远的地方...
她流泪.....
我的眼泪也随之一起滑落.......
我爱他....
他也一样爱着我!!
我很开心有她这么一个美丽又善良的姐姐.....
他也很骄傲有我这个傻呼呼的妹妹.......
我们多么愉快地相处了18年......
今年.......
我们却分开了!
有很多千言万语不能由口而发......
只能凭着想念来传达.....
姐......
怎么办????
我好想你哦!!!!


那天送走了你.....
我还记得.....
那时候下着大雨....
我们曾走在雨下的大马路.....
哭红着双眼...
苦笑对彼此说......
要好好保重......
别轻易相信陌生人的话!
当时我们都楼者彼此......
这么感性的话.....
听了都会让人悲感加重.......
你是多么的弱不经风!
如果我们不在你身边的话.......
你能健康地活下去吗???

姐......
那天你在电话的另一头......
哭得稀里哗啦的.....
我说我要安慰你.....
可是我却办不到......
什么是雨过天晴??
我告诉你后我却摸不著头脑.....
你说你住家没有水供应....
已经好几天没能洗衣服.....
连刷牙洗脸都得用矿泉水.....
衣服不够穿时.....
还得把旧衣服挖回出来穿.....
这种事....我不能保证!
雨过天晴这四个字......
好凝重!!
如果始终没有水.....
那么.....
你该怎么办??
连安慰你......我都做不好!!
以后我该怎么放心让你一个人在那呢??

还有.....
你辛苦地嚷着要回家.....
我只能唉声叹气......
因为我没有理由劝你别继续深造......
因为......
学历是无比的重要啊!!!!
对你......
我实在非常抱歉!!!
我心想......
如果这一切都发生在我身上.....
我想我会比你更坚强!!!
因为.......
我是你傻呼呼的妹妹!!!

姐!!
请你务必要好好照顾自己......
虽然我们不在你的身边.....
但是你永远都会留在我们的心里!!!
我们都爱你！！！！

能不能给我一首歌的时间。。。。。。
让我对你说。。。。。。
那三个字。。。。。。


“祝福你”

Far from my SiGht.......

My beloved sister......
Lim Qin Zheng......
i know you are going to leave the home soon......
I want you to know that i would miss you badly......
i know that we both are not used to say goodbye to one another.....
I also know that when i was in NS Kemp for 3 months......
you thought of me everyday.......every hour.......every minute......
but this time......
you are leaving for 3 years.......
how am i going to live without your appearance..??
I scare i may not success......

Sister......
the way and journey to your future is not that easy and straight.....
there will always be some challenges and forks at the middle of the road......
waiting for you to solve.....
Dont panic!!
i know you can do it......
and you can do it better without your family........
Now....
We would have to let you go.....
Fly through the beautiful sky and grab what you want in your life......
Just wait and watch carefully.......
and you could touch and feel the honour!!

Herm......
3 years is pretty long.......
for me and you to change......
hope that we would still recognize each other after this period of time......
not knowing how would it be the life in sabah........
but i wish and hope that everything will go just alright and steady.....
Gambateh oh Sha po.......

Sha po!
I really love you!!
I appreciate what you have done for me......
always care of me.......
always advise me.......
always love me.......
no matter how i have treated you.....
Thank you** my Sweety!

Jie.......
every morning we would have breakfast together.......
that's the time that i really enjoy and really like!
just one simple gardenia's bread and it would brigthen up the day.....
just 30 minutes sitting together.....
having milo with bread.......
and that would cheer we up!!
I love that moment!!
do you feel it too??

however......
i cant have breakfast with you for the next 3 years.......
without you.......
and without this leisure moment as i would have to rush to school......
i dont really think that i would enjoy my breakfast anymore......
but at least......
I HAVE EXPERIENCED.......

3/7......
Before this date.......
i am going to grab any single chance to be with you......
i wont let myself to regret!
i want to accompany you for the rest of the time beofre you are leaving.....
Come on Jie!!
Create some memories before too late......
WUWU!!
I really miss you so much!!!
Must always contact me ah**
sek sai lei ya^^
MUACKX@!!!

没药医的家伙!!

真的非常难过.......
看见家变成这样.......
虽然平时都可以躲在学校直到5点......
可是每当回到家门口.......
那无谓的恐惧感又渐渐逼近了.......


我家来了两位远房亲戚......
从中国下来的......
不是说不欢迎他们的到来......
可是.....
突然间家里多了两个陌生人......
实在不是滋味.....
我的活动范围好像缩小了......
动作变得很不自然.....
连坐在沙发上都觉得是不应该的......
要坐就战战兢兢......
不要坐就找个空档一点的位置....
坐在地上......
从来没有试过在自己的家这么客气过.......
连吃饭都得请这请那的.......
太不自在了!!!
我好不习惯哦!!!!
天啊.......
他们还得住上一个月呢!!!!1


话说回来.....
不止这样......
我哥连同他心爱的人也一同住进这个小房子.....
现在我家共有9个成员.....
一夜之间.......
我家变得水塞不通了.....
太可怕了......
现在家里开支真的很大.....
尤其是家里养的......
真的都是名副其实的懒惰虫......


我哥.....
我对他真的非常失望!!
在家无所事事.....
说他是大学生吗????
还是毕了业的大学生吗???
我怎么都无法相信??
他呆在家......
只会上网......玩牌......吃,喝,拉,睡之外......
专长就是出街玩至凌晨.......
要不是爸妈逼切帮他找工作的话.....
我看......
他下半辈子.......都不需要动了!!
可是不管外人怎么努力地帮助他.......
若是自己没有那个毅力和行动的话。。。。。。
那么单靠别人。。。。。
怎么可能有出头天呢！！？？

我不望他能够赚大钱。。。。。。
只希望他能静下狂野的贪玩心。。。。
静静地思考。。。
到底自己有什么人生目标。。。。。
我希望他能做我的榜样！！！！
我要让它成为我的骄傲。。。。。
只是这么简单的愿望。。。。。
我哥。。。。。
你能办得到吗/？？？？

其实做人。。。。。。
最重要是那骨气和感恩心。。。。。。
骨气你已经渐渐输掉了。。。。。。
但是那感恩的心可千万别丢掉。。。。
爸妈这么辛苦供你读大学。。。。。。
也只希望你能找一份稳定的工作。。。。。
赚一些钱。。。。。
帮补一下我们这狼狈的家庭。。。。。。
9个人。。。。。
真的不能维持很久了。。。。。
你要争气一点。。。。。
以后清粥稀饭还是三菜一汤就靠你了。。。。。

我也许下承诺。。。。。。
我会努力读书。。。。。
将来对这头家付上幼女该负的责任！！！！

隔了这么久.....又是一番新天地!

太久了.......
本来想说算了吧.....让它过去吧!
可是周围不时有人在提醒着我......
关心我的私事.....
关心我的生活点滴.......
令我不禁我不再重出江湖......
把埋藏在心底已久的写作火焰在一次狠狠地燃烧起来!
现在......我有欲望了!
我要继续让周围的人感受到我的存在.......
别让它停止吧!!!

5月1日 晴 10.48早晨

今天是劳动节。。。。。。。。
但是身为上班族的我却没有假期。。。。。反而得工作。。。。。真惨！！

他离开了。。。。。。
今天早上一踏进 Gold Vision，我就觉得很不对劲。。。。。
感觉上空虚了。。。。。
不自然了。。。。。
平时一进门。。。。。刚出炉的面包香气就已经弥漫整个店了。。。。。。可是今天，。。。。一切都已经不如以往了。。。。。

其实才过了这么的一个月。。。。。。
可是我对这个地方却有着十分深切的感情。。。。。。
我对它并不陌生。。。。。。
反而把它当成是另一个家了////
里面的同事就如我的家人一样。。。。。。互相扶持，互相体谅！
所以今天。。。。。少了这么一个人。。。。。。
我的心情。。。。。。
已经是好不一样了。。。。。

他今天就已经不在了。。。。。。
他得转换一个新环境上班，所以从昨天起。。。。。。。他的脸从未露出长过3秒的微笑。。。。。。
他变得沉默。。。。无精打采。。。。。
就连回答的力气也丢了似的。。。。。。
点头也显得非常吃力。。。。。
虽然即将离开的人不是我。。。。。。
但是我还是能感觉到他的那份沉重与负担。。。。。

虽然一星期前我就已经知道他必须离开了。。。。。。
但是所谓“针不刺进肉不痛”。。。。。。
不舍得的心情就只有在他离开后才爆发出来！
怎么办！！！！！
我真的非常想念他了！！！！！！

今早进到他平时工作的地方。。。。。
清静了许多！
自己在脑海里却浮现了很多他努力干活的影子。。。。。
每次进去那里。。。。。。我们总是会一笑相对。。。。。。
说声 ming ga la ba。。。
可是今早却不能这样了。。。。。
好想说出来给自己听。。。。
但是却又害怕自己接受不了没回音的那一刻。。。。。
所以话到了嘴边。。。。。。我就狠狠把它给吞回下出了。。。。。
心想。。。。。。还是算了吧！！

过后。。。。我拿出了平时用来装面包的盘子。。。。。
把弄好的蛋挞摆上去。。。。。。
站在那个位置。。。。。。
我把自己当成是他了。。。。。。
因为他常常会在做面包的时候。。。。。。
把目光投射在窗口外面。。。。。。
看一看店里的情况。。。。。。
这种心情。。。。。
我顿时很想也感受一下。。。。。。。

哇！！！
原来从厨房望出窗外是那么的美呀！！
一切都很宁静。。。。。。
好像浮在海面上。。。。。
什么杂音也听不见。。。。。。。
很和平的景色。。。。。
难怪啦。。。。。。
用这样的心情做面包。。。。。。
肯定会“物似主人心啦！”
好吃好吃！！！

Herm...
现在这种时候。。。。。要我笑。。。。真的很难！
一想到以后可能再也没有机会见面了，
我就很想流泪。。。。。
但是！
眼泪却宣泄不出来。。。。。。

我记得他说过。。。。
别哭！！！
因为哭是没用的。。。。。
哭了过后事情还是不会解决的。。。。。。
所以千万别哭！！！
现在想起。。。。。。
更难过的是。。。。。。
他临走前教我说的最后一句缅甸话就是。。。。。“别哭！”
太可悲了。。。。。。。

Haih,,,
平时有他最热闹了！！
因为至少不会少了面包烘焙机，冰厨，微波炉的声音。。。。。。
厨房也不会像现在一样。。。。。
一片寂静。。。。。。

Erm.......
我有一个疑问。。。。。。
认识比较想念常常令你开怀大笑的人还是让你常常为他流泪的人呢？？

我想如果是我的话。。。。。。
我会选择让我怀念起他的时候是笑着的人吧。。。。。。。
因为笑才是件值得纪念的是啊！！！
难怪我会这么想念他！！

5月19日 晴 9.35pm
现在已经开始校园生活了。。。。。。。
读三德这件算得上是名校的中学。。。。。。
已经感到非常荣欣了。。。。。
到目前为止。。。。。
我对母校还是念念不忘。。。。
话虽如此。。。。。
可是我也渐渐入乡随俗了。。。。。
**三德**
我会好好地和你相处融洽的！！！

三德校歌。。。。。
还是半桶水！！
哈哈！！

伟哉三德 锡立西城 XXXX
朗朗书声 XXXX 精益求精
XXXX XXXX XXXX
XXXX XXXX XXXX

haha.......
完全没有印象了。。。。
BLEK**
没关系！！
我会慢慢上口的！！！
等着瞧吧！！！！！


何谓三德？？？
1）信 Faith
2）望 Hope
3）爱 Love

闷死了~~~

I'm holding M16?? unbelievable....haha!

What's a boring and dull life i am going through now.......
Everyday doing the same thing.......
the same routine**
HERM~~
staying at home......resting.....reading.......doing house chores......eating....
all the time.......
while others are all out for work^^
I'm unwanted......
WUWU~~
My parents forbid me to go and find a job.......
problems are.....
1)no transport
2)stay at home to be a maid
3)find tuitions and start preparing for form 6

WUWU~~~~~~~~

life like this..........
makes me starting to miss my KEM SEGARI..........
all sort of activities i can carry on there......
1)TTS.....kononnya....(tidur tempat sendiri...haha),but it's like
taekwando.....taught us self-defence.....good for everyone!
2)Flying-fox.....turn to be SUPERWOMAN!! flying in the air....hehe
3)Wirajaya.....Stay in the forest for 1 night.....cook in the jungle and carry a 20
kg bag.......Tiring but SYOK!!!!!
4)CB class.....(Character's Building....Interaktif!! woohu.....The best class EveR)
5)Integrasi class.....(taught us about budaya,tradisi,peranan lelaki dan perempuan)
6)Kenegaraan class.....(taught us about taat setia....berbakti untuk negara)
7)Pertandingan Kawad.....(Charlie Won The first place!! YEAH**)
8)Pertandingan antara pelantun terbaik.....(Dimenangi oleh Kumpulan Charlie
juga...haha)
9)Pertandingan Volleyball.....(Charlie was again the champion for both
wira&wirawati...AHA)
10)Pertandingan Netball.....(Charlie Won Again!!~~WOOHU))
11)Pertandingan Tarik Tali......(Alpha wirawati and Delta wira won......)
12)Shooting time....I got 10 upon 100 marks......(CHA!! haha)
but the highest among wirawati was 51 marks from kompeni BRAVO and the highest
among wira was 73 marks from kompeni CHARLIE.....
Again Charlie......So happy^^ proud of all my teamates!
they did the best in KEM~!!
WOOHU**

and what is more....>??
Charlie turned to be the best kompeni among the others......
We got 3 big trophies!!!!
and certificates.......
feeling on top of the world at that time~~
herm.....
and now when i reminisce back.......
i cant forget anything there..........
too much to say about them......
i remember!!
on 10th of march......
friends from KL,selangor and some from IPOH were about to leave.......
i saw them sitting in the bus......
waving to the rest standing a few metres away from the bus......
my heart sank to the bottom.......
when the bus driver started the engine.......
the noise made me dropped my tears.......
then i received a call from my friend in the bus/.....
he persuaded me not to cry......
he saw me in that instant......
then i turned over my face.......
sobbing......
i saw everyone crying too......
it's very difficult for us to send them home with smiles on our faces......
because maybe we would not have the chance to meet and stay together under a big family.....
and because we were left behind and had to stay in the kem for one more day.....
when we went back to our dormitory......
a different scene we had seen.......
empty beds with no one there.....
laughters has gone.....
the crowd has gone too.......
not a single of us was feeling great......
that morning was sorrow.......
and DARK>>.........
my dormitory had only 6 people left while before that we got 24 in it......
haih.......
i kept on crying in the bed.......
looking at those empty beds........
and inbox that was nearly full......
they were all sms-ing to say goodbye to me......
Yea!~
That's the only way that they could console me.......
My neighbours in dorm.......
the two of them had written down a letter for me........
i was so glad that they all love me as a friend.......
unfortunately......they are both from KL.......
We cant meet often......
but we wont stop contacting each other......
i know we would meet again at somewhere else......I hope and i beg the hope comes true^^
27th of march is the first day for kumpulan 2 siri 7 to go and register at stadium indera mulia.....
I have promised to visit cikgu ngah at there......whom i call "mr.potato"
haha......
i remember that night......
when angel was colouring the clothe for decoration on our graduation night.....
i came in and accompanied her.....
there were a lot of teachers resting and chatting......
got cikgu KC......cikgu Wani.....cikgu Wan.....cikgu Roy......cikgu Ngah!!! haha........
i was being forced by cikgu roy and cikgu wan to sing a song......
we were all laughing and teasing each other.......(in proper manner certainly)....haha
when i saw cikgu ngah came in......
i shouted
"cikgu......saya nak potato sikit...."
haha.......
his face turned red a little.....
then he acted like very angry......
he picked up a brush and decided to draw something on my face......
but i ran.....
and he kept running after me.........
at last......
i surrendered......
and he drawed beard and moustache on me........
wahaha!!!
then cikgu roy took a picture of me.....
luckily the water colour could be wiped off easily....
if not,.....
i would have to go back with this silly face......
HAHA~~
Herm.....Really miss all of them........
I am going to visit the kem again next time......
i hope they would still welcome and remember me.....
a silly and cheerful girl......called SUNSILK

Back here and Back ThEre...........

5 days have gone and past like a rocket.........
Time flies when we are having fun......wuwu!
i need to go back by today's 5pm........
Herm........
what to do??
Although i would miss here so so much.........
i am still looking forward to go back.........
because i would learn M16(Riffle) starting form tomorrow..........!!~~
SYOK~~wahaha

erm........
life there is simple i think..........
because everyday we are repeating the same routine......
the time has been mixed..........
the punishments also........
dihukum pakai full loreng...........
haha......tak kira apa jua situasi pun......~~
the most fun of the day is masa riadah!!
because at that time,.....we can do whatever we want!
no matter jogging......playing badminton,playing basketball,playing volleyball,football and so on........
we can also find a place to sit down and relax......(if tak ada jurulatih caught us lah)....haha
but i wont want to sit down and relax......
because i want to lose weight!
wahaha.......
everyday run with angel during riadah........
is the most fun activity.......
we always jog and sing the band song at the same time......
haha.......
or marching............~~!!
woo~!!
so miss her right now tim~
nvm .............
later i would go to her house......haha**
she kissed me on the last day when we were about to go back home.......
so romantic.........
wahaha~
when would i be kissed by the moon leh??
wondering..........
UEK!!
wanna muntah........
haha~

erm.......
i am not as famous as what angel has said in her blog.......
just that i am quite noisy.....and people used to talk to me jek......
haha!!
nothing else much.........
UEK!~~
oh ya!!
the sky there at night is amazing!!
a lot of stars......and also moon!
hehe.....
i saw once........
an orange MOON!
what's a big strange~!!!
beautiful and attractive......
haha~
angel lied on my legs to see the sky and so did i......i lied on the one behind me!
hehe./......
every night i will be doing the same thing.........
look at the beautiful sky and say to myself......
nipple to the moon and stars.........
hehe^^
SYOKING>>>>>
hope to bring the sky back to ipoh......
so that i can watch and observe it every night........
WOOHU**

herm.......
One more important thing to share!
that is/.......
the people are all very kind and friendly.........
i like to play with the jurulatih there.......
they are very funny and humourous people.......
haha!
Cikgu wan......i call him cikgu Bocor Bocor.......and so does he......
he calls me bocor bocor because of a song.......
when i first got to know that song......
i learned dancing from some malay girls......
maybe that time i looked funny with my movements??
so that teacher started to call me bocor bocor......haha
and one more.........
Cikgu Roy........
he imitates my laughters.......
he said my laughters macam terpaksa ketawa......
wahaha!
so funny man.......~~
Where got!@@
i am ikhlas de......hehe

oh ya^
some jurulatih there will paksa you to eat de oh..........
when i dont have appetite......
i dont want to take the food.......
but the jurulatih would get angry and turn the table over de......!
so scary.......
it had happened once to the other team of girls.......
so next time when i saw that teacher.........
i would hide myself at the place where we wash our plates..........and keep quiet!!
haha~

herm......
when i have come back from NS.........
i think i really did grow up!
i know why minister of Malaysia needs to melaung-laungkan konsep "satu malaysia"!
because it's very important to bersatu-padu and bercampur kaum......
we are living in malaysia......
must do our parts lah.........
every religion must respect each others........
i have learned many things from the others who are practising different cultures.....
i have learned character-building and kelas integrasi at there........
and now......
we are having kelas kenegaraan......
teaching how to respect and to be faithful to our own country.......
It's good to learn all that.........
because when we understand everyone of different religions around us........
we would enlarge our small minds........
we would have the chance to induce good ideas from the people around us........
they think the way that we couldn't think of...........
so we can all share our buah fikiran......
and that wiil forge our relationship.........!!
woohu**
Satu tekad/...satu semangat......SATU MALAYSIA!!
dont be afraid of getting close with others.........
we should appreciate their presence.......
without them........
we are not MALAYSIANS>........~~
Thank God for giving me a chance to be a better man.......
get into PLKN........
Isn't that bad.........
i now........
upsetting........
for hatred PLKN last time......
when i first got to know that i have been chosen for PLKN.......
i was complaining!!
however...........
now it's different.......
the feelings of hatred has gone........
in fact...........
i am starting to love it**
haha~
so for siri 7 kumpulan 2 dan 3 yang bakal masuk PLKN..........
janganlah berase GERAMJIl..........
kerana inilah masa untuk kamu semua belajar dan hilangkan personaliti sendiri yang kurang baik........
Mengapa??
kerana PLKN perlukan disiplin yang EXCELLENT!
kalau tidak............
FAHAM FAHAM~!~
haha//////

WOoHU**
finally updated my blog........
macam sangat bersemangat tim!!!
but die loh.........
when i get back.......
i need to join pertandingan perbahasan!
Sei ler.....^^
Save ME~!!!!
HeRm..........